How to Talk to a Naked Man
How to Talk to a Naked Man
From Put Passion First by Carol Cassell, PhD
What many women fail to understand is that men are a lot more sexually complicated than you'd think. Male desire and prowess is influenced by many factors, just like a woman's libido. And there's more.
Igniting the Fires Within
If sex with your man is losing its fiery glow, don't wait around for some fairy godmother to appear with magic erotic dust. There are many ways to stir the embers and spice up what happens in your bedroom -- and kitchen, living room and beyond. Find out how.
Adrenaline and Sex Drive
According to research, there are links between the rush of adrenaline -- whether it comes from a run around the track or being in a scary situation -- and getting sexually turned on. Here's the takeaway: Adrenaline-fueled arousal explains why men love to have spontaneous sex, especially in dicey situations, offbeat places or where discovery is a possibility. Just be careful not to try this when the kids are awake.
Variety is the Spice of Sex
Having sex with a variety of women, or with more than one woman at the same time, is the stuff of many men's sexual fantasies. So what's a girl to do? There are many ways to keep your sex life from becoming a version of "Groundhog Day." You can do a little research (books, media) for some new ideas, but it's really quite simple. Whatever brings out your inner vixen is what turns him on most.
Rattle His Sexual Cage
Men need to get all shook up from time to time. Surprise him with sensually edgy seduction scenarios. For example, turn your bedroom into a stage and put on a private strip tease. The barely-there lacy lingerie under your gray sweats should get his attention. Begging him to take it off -- and take it all of you, too -- is an irresistible invitation. If that's just not you, anything that lifts your sex life out of the doldrums will do.
Pass the Popcorn
Being the visual beings they are, most men love pornography. Don't be put off if he gets his sex on by watching it. Better to accept the fact that he's feeling sexy and wants to have sex with you. Try expanding your erotic education into porn/erotica. If you really can't get into it as a sex toy, maybe the two of you can star in your own video for your private viewing pleasure. (Be sure to be the one who is keeper of the tape!)
Don't Talk -- Do
Men respond to show and touch, not talk. Take away any pressure on him to "talk" about sex by sharing passionate, intimate thoughts in a nonverbal way. Reach out and touch him; men love to be touched and hugged. It's good to know that oxytocin, the bonding hormone, is released in the brain after a 20-second hug from a partner and triggers the brain's trust center.
Try a Little Tenderness
Folk wisdom says, "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar." And men, well, they need a lot of honey. He'll literally blossom when you let him know that you love him for being the sexy guy he is. This isn't about cheesy compliments or manipulation. Your "honey" must be heartfelt and sincere. If you're sweet outside the bedroom, he'll be even sweeter inside.
The Bitch Factor
While we're on the subject, a woman's critical, unappreciative attitude towards a man outside the bedroom shuts down his sexual desire for her. Secretly or overtly, many women regard their men as fixer-uppers. If you run roughshod over his need to be appreciated, he may not say much, but the damage to your passionately sensual relationship with him will speak volumes.
When His Libido Down Shifts
Before your sex-iffy relationship slides into a sex-starved one, it's time you become aware of what could be negatively affecting his lust for sex. It could be anything from work stress to worry about his aging parents, money problems, health or (sorry!) boredom with you. Here, the usual suspects behind a man's flagging desire.
Recent Comments
Anatrue 03:51:03 AM Jul 14 2008
and for reals, mjordanwizards...this is really all that article needed to say. nothing gets my guy like a spontaneous bj in the middle of the kitchen while dinners cooking on the stove 'cause i know ill get the same in return in some random location of the house. we dont have kids though...can you tell? hee hee
Anatrue 03:47:02 AM Jul 14 2008
this is a ridiculous article. if a woman cant keep her man interested in sex, i doubt this garbage is going to help. its not even real advice...more like, go get a book, take some pills, maybe this, maybe that...just more worthless nonsense to fill up space on aol.
Chell Ess 02:45:42 AM Jul 14 2008
Just do it! The more you give- the more you'll receive. And that includes desire- you feel i, you'll give it, you'll get it. And shut up! It is NOT erotic to kiss while babbling or chattering, or giggling like a teenage because you're drooling. Dive right in! Go half as slow as you think slow is. Touch like you want to be touched.Go at it like you love each other more than you lust each other, and you'll feel both. Don't worry, speculate, project, imagine. Do it on the rug. If you know something always works for the two of you- do it. Amd do something different too if you can. Just do it! Do it! Do it! Then drink some cool, cool water, hold her in your arms, kiss and stroke her as long as you can before you lose consciousness... but Not with your back turned to her. She'll be up all night smoking and staring at you.
MJordanWizards 09:31:32 PM Jul 13 2008
Just go down on a guy everyday and he'll be happy
Tylerbeach2002 01:44:57 PM Jul 08 2008
I have an objection to any article about men written by a woman. I don't care if she's a PH-D that means nothing to me, just a BS title. It's always funny reading something about men written by a woman for a woman. Yeah, that's advice I want.
Webguyster 11:05:02 AM Jul 08 2008
Hetersexual men find a male sex buddy, and thats what they need, The wife looks good at holidays, and for quickies, or his porn addiction.
mia had a SN 08:09:18 AM Jul 08 2008
i really hate how the link to this article said "ladies should be reading this" Not all women are out there to please their men. Some ladies can go their entire life without a husband or boyfriend, and their perfectly happy. But it seems that heterosexual men actually NEED women in their life.
ConanJana2006 04:07:49 AM Jul 06 2008
There is no need for a fairy godmother with erotic dust, ... only for Mr. Man to stop smoking and drinking exessively, ... smoking cigarettes and drinking too much alcohol, ... and sports such as light jogging, swimming and leisurely walks to mantain a mellow blood pressure, ... that'll do it boys! You don't need dirty magazines, only healthy bodies!!!
Nylaet03 02:22:11 AM Jul 06 2008
Some people, that includes men, don't know what they want. Pleasing each other is a two way street. If you're doing back flips trying to "make it work", just throw the towel in....and move on. That person is not worth your precious energy. That's the real tip.
SWEETSBK2 02:04:37 AM Jul 06 2008
I believe that some men are just plain' ol' stubborn and can't be pleased. Just as women can be finnickey so can men. Some men will say that "your the best thing that has ever happened to them" yet in the same breath "tell you to go to hell". So to you Cuse4447 you should not be called a man if your finding many reasons as to why your woman isn't sufficient.
